by 
Dear diary, there are days when life feels like an epic adventure. And then there are days like today – when I had to take on the ultimate final boss. No, no fear, not a fire-breathing dragon, not a sinister necromancer, not even a particularly aggressive chicken. No, worse… my grandma.
Like any true hero, my day naturally starts with a heroic delay. (Seven minutes! I ask you, is that really the end of the world?) But Grandma wouldn’t be Grandma if she didn’t put that on my bread – along with a good dose of well-intentioned advice à la “Find a husband, learn housework and have children!”. Ah, Grandma, you walking manual for the traditional image of women…
Of course, the inevitable happens: discussions, drama and a duel to the death! But wait – what’s that? A new challenge appears in the form of an ominous apprenticeship! Will I be forced into the dark realm of tailoring? Will Grandma really banish me to a shop full of pincushions? Questions upon questions!
And then there’s the mysterious “nice gentleman” from the mages’ guild who Grandma thinks is my future husband. I’ll just say this much: Talking can also be a weapon – if it just doesn’t stop!
Good thing I’m more of a quiet type! Ha!
But anyone who thinks my day is over is underestimating my ability to plunge further into chaos. A few unfortunate decisions, a little mead and – bang! – I’m once again facing my old rival:”Schranki” , whom I once provoked… before I ran away. But this time I’m going to prove myself! This time I will stand still! This time I will…
So there’s no end to the chaos – but that’s exactly what makes it so entertaining, isn’t it? If you want to know whether I’ll outgrow myself this time or just fail marvellously again – you shouldn’t miss the latest episode!
👉 Curious? Then take a look and join me on this glorious adventure! 🎭🎥
Songtext
(Verse 1) No bow, no blade, she’s got nothing at hand, Just a broken spoon – and even that can’t stand. A hero from the legends? No, not quite her role, But she’s got a clever line… and an arrow in her soul.
(Chorus) Yes, no, maybe – who knows what’s in store? Still Patsy keeps on stumbling, though she’s losing more and more. With an arrow in her knee and a plan that always fails, She’s the kind of hero who somehow still prevails!
(Verse 2) She never holds her tongue, trips over every log, Fighting off the chaos, proud like a stubborn cog. She fails at every doorway, loses every fight, But Patsy keeps on going, with dark humor as her light.
(Chorus) Yes, no, maybe – who knows what’s in store? Still Patsy keeps on stumbling, though she’s losing more and more. With an arrow in her knee and a plan that always fails, She’s the kind of hero who somehow still prevails!
(Verse 3) Skeletons, bandits – she tends to run away, Her courage amounts to nothing, and that ruins her day. One step forward, two steps back – that’s how she rolls, But with Patsy, it’s never boring – chaos is her goal!
(Chorus) Yes, no, maybe – who knows what’s in store? Still Patsy keeps on stumbling, though she’s losing more and more. With an arrow in her knee and a plan that always fails, She’s the kind of hero who somehow still prevails!
(Outro) So Patsy walks the world in her very own style, Her actions are nonsense, but they’re never without guile. An adventure full of madness – and even when things break, Patsy Wackelwitz is the one who never fakes.
